Meeting and Being Met:Intro Call Replay
Have your past relationships left you feeling disappointed, unfulfilled, and yearning for more?
Are you tired of being told you have to scheme and manipulate in order to get what you need and want in relationship?
Does the prospect of dating leave you cold? Even cold enough to keep you far away from dating, and telling yourself you’re just fine alone?
What I’ve discovered in 20 years of helping people awaken to the wonders of conscious embodiment in mutuality, is that Being loves to meet Being, and Love loves to Love.
The journey to love is parallel, in some key ways, to the journey of awakening and embodiment. This won’t come as a surprise to those who’ve followed the guidance in my book, Becoming Divinely Human, but finding true love may require putting your focus on a few different areas of relating.
Conscious connections come in many forms: teacher/student, peer/peer, parent/child, and in groups via mutuality circles, to name a few. But the gold standard remains the true love relationship—where you are seen and met by your counterpart who is your equal in all regards, who loves and cherishes you just as you are.
If you were fortunate, that person turned up for you as if by magic as you went about your life, and you found a kind of soulful connection that fulfilled your deepest longing. Yet, for many of us, that type of connection has been elusive, and all too often, our attempts at opening ourselves to love have left us feeling, shall we say, less than successful.
Maybe you’ve been left thinking there’s something fundamentally wrong with you, or that you’re inadequate, or not worthy of the true love you seek. There’s nothing like intimate relationship to push all your most sensitive buttons!
Are you done with relationships that make you feel less-than or not-good-enough, or don’t want to risk falling in love with yet another unavailable person, or someone who pretends to want love, but perhaps doesn’t really know what they want (and leaves you to wonder what you did to drive them away)?
Or someone who is still pining away for an ex, or is married to their work, or their single lifestyle? If so, read on.
The key to finding someone worthy of love is not to make yourself more attractive, or excellent at flirting and small talk, or a whiz at crafting catchy text lines. The key is to go deeper, uncover your true gifts that lie close to your heart, and retrain your ability to sniff out the good ones from those who can’t or won’t return your love.
Once you embrace this new way of approaching dating, you’ll feel more relaxed, more confident, and you’ll look at yourself in a whole new way—a way that paves the way for the One you seek to find you.
Four essential skills that will help you be love to find love:
1. Lose your taste for unhealthy relationships.
My dating mentor Ken Page calls these “attractions of deprivation” because, on some level, they will leave you feeling deprived of something you really need. These attractions may feel very compelling, like you’ve known one other forever, or like it’s “just meant to be.” However, in too many of these cases you are being subconsciously “hooked” by people who remind you of a situation, usually from childhood, when you weren’t fully seen, valued, appreciated, or kept safe. Your subconscious pulls you into these relationships on a misguided mission to try to get that need met in your current life. The only problem is that it rarely works out—you are far more likely to be re-traumatized than to heal.
You can learn to identify these types of connections and avoid them.
2. Kindness and availability must become the most important ingredients.
As you retrain your taste for “bad guys or gals” or “lost souls,” you can train your antennae to notice those who are kind, generous, and emotionally available. These “attractions of inspiration” often unfold more slowly, and get richer over time. They make you feel love, not desperation.
These relationships need to be cultivated with care and perhaps a bit of patience. You may not feel the instant thrill of a compelling, unhealthy attraction, but instead a gentle quality of contentment and emotional safety that grows over time. And that’s far more important.
3. Give up avoiding intimacy.
Intimacy lives deep in your core, in the same vicinity as the existential core wound. As long as you are avoiding feeling your deepest, most tender feelings, you will avoid potential partners who touch you in these places.
We all have avoided these most sensitive parts of ourselves because we’ve been hurt here in the past—and it’s the place where we’re most likely to feel our deepest confusion or sense of inadequacy. So we watch TV, play online games, surf the net, chase unavailable partners for one-night-stands, keep busy with work or athletics—the list is practically endless.
When you realize time is ticking and if you’re tired of sleeping alone, you can make a choice to only spend time with those who are capable of relating deeply—and welcome the inner journey of self-and-other-intimacy.
4. Lead with your authentic self.
Those tender inner places where you’ve been wounded are also the key to your most unique and precious gifts—your Core Gifts.
Core Gifts are a bit different from talents or skills. They may be places you feel embarrassed or ashamed of, because people around you have told you you’re either “too much thus and such” or “not enough this and that.” Things like feeling too sensitive, too generous, too caring, not tough enough, too needy. What you end up with is profound wounding because your most precious, unique Beingness went unvalued and you felt you had to suppress it.
And when you reject, hide, or suppress your Core Gifts, you don’t honor or accept your authentic self. Then what happens is you attract people who also don’t honor or accept you for who you are, either.
The key to a different kind of dating lies in treasuring your Core Gifts and your authentic self, in all your precious, tender uniqueness. When you can do that in a non-defensive way, your world begins to change. You find yourself dating people who accept and delight in who you are—people who are kind, generous of spirit, and available.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
It’s not easy to make the journey of self-discovery alone, never mind embark on the often-daunting journey of opening to true love through conscious dating. So why not do it in the company of others?
This Meeting and Being Met course will not only open your eyes to the key ingredients for deep and lasting love, it will provide positive support to help you identify and honor the very Gifts that make you unique—and uniquely lovable.
Together we will grow in authenticity and deepen our ability to live from our Core, the place where we love from. As we do this, we increase the amount of genuine love and joy we experience in our daily lives, and this in many ways is as valuable as finding the partner who awaits our discovery.
To allow enough time to go deep together and implement the basic principles, this course will be 10 weeks long.
MBM COURSE LOGISTICS
- This course will be 10 weeks in total, divided into two parts of 5 weeks each
- Each class will be approximately 2 hours long
- It’s a pilot course; we’ll be co-creating it as we go along—your feedback helps make it better
- In-person attendance is expected (classes will be recorded for reviewing)
- Classes will be part information/part exercises and will include breakouts
- In Part 1 (first 5 weeks) the focus will be on the inner work of naming Core Gifts and disentangling from unhealthy love and attraction patterns. There will be some self-reflection homework assignments as well as sharing in class.
- In Part 2 (second 5 weeks) the focus will be on taking action: clarifying what you’re looking for in a partner, writing and posting your online profile, and starting to communicate with prospective partners.
- The entire course will focus on discovering how you can be love to find love—how to shine your light brightly to connect with other conscious, divinely human beings, for your mutual benefit and pleasure!
>> First course date: March 13, 2021 <<
- Course meets on 10 Saturdays starting March 13, 2021
- Time is 10 am to noon, Pacific, for the first three meetings
- Meeting time shifts to 3 – 5 pm PT after that
- Course will be limited to 16 participants.
- The fee for the entire 10-week course is $394, payable in two payments of $197 each.
- There is a $47 discount for registering for the entire course up front: the fee when paid by March 5 is only $347.
- You are welcome to register for Part 1 alone at $197, without obligation to continue on with Part 2 if you are unsure about your readiness to begin online dating at this time.
Your investment is safe. 100% of your fee will be refunded upon your request if within the first 30 days you discover the course is not working for you. Just let us know how we can improve it in the future!